I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Randomize