I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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