Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
this beer tastes like vomit already
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize