How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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