Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
