The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
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