you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
