theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
So many bounce houses so little time
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
