either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
