I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
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