Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
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