I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize