C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
So vagazzling was a success
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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