so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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