i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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