well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
