I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
