you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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