No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
