ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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