i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
