I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Randomize
