grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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