oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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