yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
