I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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