she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
