I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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