hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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