Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
