As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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