He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
