just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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