those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
