I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
