I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
