Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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