I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
