I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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