There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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