I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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