we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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