True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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