a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
