were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
