ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Swine flu is the new snow day.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Can I color on your dick again?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize