he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
well you can't waste a boner
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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