i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
