Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Randomize
