You just made me feel so damn special
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
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