sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize