Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
