I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
