He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
