Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize