May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize