I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i came on her dog
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
