I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
