You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
