Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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