when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize