Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
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I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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